Killing bad guys

Ziva has been talking a lot lately about killing. She frequently makes comments about Daddy killing the bad guys at work, she talks about police and soldiers killing people, and occasionally she voices fear that someone will kill her. It has concerned me that my 3 year old is thinking about killing, and I wondered where in the world she's been getting such ideas, until a light bulb went off and it occurred to me--the only place Ziva hears about killing is in the Bible.

And it's had me thinking. These stories we read her, in any other context, I would probably shelter her from. But since they are in Scripture, we don't. We read them and talk about them, and even at this early age, try to teach her truth, even though it's hard. A lot of what Jesus taught was hard to hear, harder to live. Still is. But we can't gloss over it or leave it out because of that. It's there for a reason, and it's an important part of the puzzle, a very real aspect of the life of faith.

I think all those war stories, all the killing of the Old Testament, are visible, in-the-flesh reminders that the life of faith ultimately is a battle. No longer do we see God's people fighting against God's enemies, fighting for their home--at least not in the form of Jews fighting against Philistines, fighting for a piece of property. Today, Goliath comes in the form of "spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm" (Eph. 6), all the more dangerous because unseen; the home we're fighting for is one we've not yet seen. And the not seeing makes it so hard for us to remember there's a war going on all around us. Perhaps the war scenes of the Old Testament are trying to remind us....this is happening right here, right now, all the time. Killing is still an important part of following God, but now it's putting to death self, killing the sinful nature, destroying anything that tries to turn my heart away from God toward something less, something empty. Now that's a concept that a 3 year old can't grasp...most adults still have a hard time with it too. So we continue to read the stories of battle and death and pray that what Ziva--what we all--take away from it is the knowledge that good must be fought for, in the world and in our own hearts. And victory is ours if we remain in Him.

A good night's sleep

Last night was Zoe's first night in her crib. We put her down and let her cry herself to sleep, which she did pretty quickly. She whimpered some off and on but finally settled into a good sleep. She woke up a couple times to eat but went straight back to sleep every time, and I felt like I got the most rest since we brought her home. Hopefully tonight will be a repeat! Here are a few pictures from this week...

I thought I rotated this one, but I guess it didn't take. Oh well. We have a picture of Zoe with this lamb her first few days at home, and they were the same size then. What a difference a month makes!

I think she looks like Grandma Ramirez in this one....what do you think?

Happy after nap time!

All dressed up in their red white and blue for the 4th!

Zoe has her eyes open more and more all the time, and she's so much fun. She's starting to "talk" and smile more...can't get enough!

Chunker - 1 month check up

Today was Zoe's one month check up, and she weighed in at 9 lb 2 oz! Our doctor laughed at how much she's gained...2 pounds in a little over 2 weeks! She's in the 45th percentile for both weight and height (21 inches), so she may not end up tall like Ziva, but time will tell. The best news is that I don't have to wake her up at night to eat anymore. I forgot to set an alarm last night anyway, and she slept 5 1/2 hours before waking up, so I'm hoping I can start getting a teeny bit more sleep. We'll see :)

24 days

First of all, let me say "Happy Birthday" to my brother Ross! I didn't get a chance to call him today, so this is my birthday shout out...we love you and can't wait to see you again! I will try to call you tomorrow :)

And since Zoe has yet to reach the one month mark, we're still counting by days, so today is 24. She is growing fast, and I can't wait to see what she weighs at her check up next Friday. Breastfeeding experiment #2 hasn't been as miserable a failure as it was the first time around with Ziva, but it has been a failure nevertheless. So I'm pumping again, which I said I wouldn't, but this way Zoe's still getting breastmilk, just in the bottle. And I'm pretty much guessing on how much I should give her, based on how often she gets hungry and how much she drinks, and she seems to be a bigger eater than I remember Ziva being. So we'll see in a week how she's packing on the pounds!

Overall she's a pretty easy baby....she still sleeps a lot, and sleeps pretty well at night, which is great. She's not usually too fussy, sometimes just for a while in the evening. Typically she's fussiest right at Ziva's bedtime, so my stress level is maxed out, but it's okay. At Ziva's 3 year check up, our pediatrician quoted a saying from Bill Cosby, something to the effect that you're not really a parent until you have more than one kid. I scoffed at it then....one is plenty of work! But oh man. It's kinda true. One to two has been challenging in some ways, but mostly ways I hadn't expected or thought about, which makes it seem harder than it probably is. Post-partum hormones probably also make everything seem harder than it actually is :) The biggest shock to my system is just not having Ziva as my baby anymore. Suddenly she's a BIG girl, and it's funny how my expectations of her changed so quickly. She's doing great and loves being a big sister, but I know it's hard on her sometimes, and that's hard on me. But just tonight I was praying and remembered that it's a really good thing for her to learn that it's not all about her, to learn to share and have to wait for things and think about someone else besides herself. Even if it's painful at times, those are great life lessons and if we could somehow go through this transition without her learning those things, she'd be missing out in the long run. And I will keep reminding myself of that, day after day. I will need it, I'm sure.

Vince with his girls on Father's Day...we got to go to church for the first time with all four of us.

How sweet is this?

We're seeing more and more alert time, and I've even gotten some coos and smiles in the last few days. I know it's early but I swear they're real smiles....

We had family over for Father's Day, and Uncle Nate was able to come meet Zoe for the first time. Ziva's looking very serious in her big sister role.

Already climbing over the couch :)

Welcome Zoe!

Zoe Kaitlin arrived on May 31, 2011, weighing in at 6 lbs, 13 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. I know I'm late in putting up pictures......we'll keep more coming!

Love this one...Ziva is a great big sister!

Entrusted to us...

This is our new home! And oh, what a journey it has been to get here. "Here" is knowing that this really isn't OUR home; it is the house God has entrusted to us, and we have seen His goodness so tangibly in the way He has provided for us. I know the blog has been a little quiet lately, but that's because we've been working through some opposition to God's plans. Two weeks before our original closing date, we found out that Vince's overtime counted as "salary," and that there was an income limit on the loan type we were getting, so all of a sudden our choice was to change loan types, which meant coming up with almost $4000 for a down payment, or walking away. We did not have $4000, so we prayed for God to provide and waited hopefully, but started making strategic plans for adding a baby to our current apartment situation. One week after the news, my aunt found out about our situaton and wished she could help. The next day she found out her tax return had gone in early, and she had enough for her needs plus enough to help us, so she loaned us a down payment. We never would have dreamed of God providing the way He did....dropping that much money in our laps seemed improbable at best, but I knew He could if He wanted to. And He did....which blessed us in so many obvious ways, but also it just confirmed to us that this house really is a part of His plan for us. We probably could have eeked it out somehow on our own, but in the back of my mind I wondered if we'd be trying too hard to force something God was trying to say "no" to. So the outside provision was a resounding "Yes" and "Amen", and we are taking that blessing with open arms! We already have plans to host youth over the summer, and our prayer is that our house (and we) will always be open to anyone in need. Because it's not really ours, you see. We're taking care of it for God and we want to use it the way He wants us to.

So yesterday we closed, today we got the right keys (that's another story for another time....), and this Saturday we move in. Oh yeah, and I'm scheduled to induce labor on the 31st, unless Zoe decides she wants to come sooner. I think the nursery will be ready for her...I know we all are!

T-minus 25 days!

We are scheduled to close on the house May 12! Two weeks from tomorrow we have our initial walk through to make sure everything's right, then a week and a half after that it's a done deal. I can't believe how fast it's gone, but we're so excited that we will be able to get in before Zoe makes her entrance to the world! We have to pay for our apartment through June no matter when we move, so we can take our time on the non-essential stuff. That's a good feeling! We started packing a little bit this week ("we"=Vince). Ziva has always loved climbing on boxes! Hopefully this is the last time she'll have the opportunity for a LONG time.

Here are some shots of the hosue with the brick done. The last time we got to go inside they had tile down and all the wood trim and cabinets up. And they've poured the porch and looks like the driveway will be going in this week. There's still a lot to be done inside, but in two weeks, it will be finished!